The final days

I've been getting the same question over and over and over lately. 

"So, are you excited?"

My answer to that question is yes...... and nervous/sad/anxious/ready/determined/happy.  I've been telling everyone that I feel like I'm on a roller coaster of emotions.  After my farewell party on Saturday, I came home and cried.  I knew it was silly and impractical, but I couldn't help it.  I'm most dreading Friday when I have to say goodbye to my family and Saturday when I have to say goodbye to Ian.  Despite the fact that Ian will join me in Japan in a few weeks, it's going to be really weird not having him with me.  In case anyone was wondering, saying goodbye sucks.  So this is what it feels like to move abroad.  I've done the whole semester abroad thing, but this is SOOOOOOO MUCH different.  For a semester abroad, I knew it was a relatively short amount of time.  This is a year....a whole year.  I know that in the grand scheme of things a year is nothing, but right now it's seeming pretty daunting.  I'm not saying that I regret my decision to do this (b/c I absolutely don't!!!), but now that the time is so close, I keep asking myself why the heck I'm doing this, lol. 

These past couple of days have been great.  It's still really weird for me to think that by the time the week's over, I'll be on my way to Japan.  So far, I've spent the majority of the week with my family and Ian.  Most of the time has been spent doing normal things--swimming, running errands, babysitting the nephews and niece, joking around, etc.  I honestly cannot think of any other way I would have rather spent my last week in the States.  I love my family so much and am so fortunate to have such a wonderful family!!  

I've been packing things for the past week.  As I sit now in my living room, I'm staring at blank, barren white walls.  It seems so impersonal--so cold to not have family pictures, photos, or keep sakes hanging on the walls.  Even though our apartment is small and has its downfalls, it's our first home together, and it's kinda sad to leave it.  There's still so much packing to do!!  Ian doesn't leave until August 15th, and he told me not to worry about packing the apartment stuff up.  I hate to leave him with everything, though.  It's not fair to him to have to box up EVERYTHING.  (Plus, don't tell him I said this, but his organizational skills aren't the best. ;)  His idea of packing is tossing random stuff in a box until it's full.)  It's almost 2:30AM now, but when I laid down to sleep earlier, I couldn't.  I was thinking, "I need to do this in the morning," or "Did I pack my belts?" or "Shoot, I should put my toothbrush in my carry on."  My mind is running about a hundred miles an hour.  :)  How does one pack one's life away into two checked and one carry on luggage?  Seriously, if anyone has suggestions, I'd welcome them.