English, why you no easy?

If you are reading this currently, get down on your knees right now and thank the good Lord above that you are a native English speaker.

Wednesday I was working on my TEFL work, and I realized something.  English SUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS.  I’m so incredibly happy that I’m a native English speaker and don’t have to learn English.  WHEW!  Learning any language is difficult, but English is supposed to be one of the most difficult languages in the world.  With all of its irregularities, awkward spellings, and words that sound the same but don’t mean the same, it’s a pretty crazy language!  My second lesson of TEFL was about grammar.  As native English speakers, we don’t often think about WHAT or WHY we say something…..it just naturally comes to us, and that’s the way it is.  (Although half the time even as native English speakers we STILL get things confused.  Who hasn’t stared at a word thinking—That doesn’t look right!  Is that word really spelled with two A’s??  For an even better example, think of those people who can’t quite grasp the concept of when to use they’re, there, and their.  Even as native English speakers, we still don’t completely understand our language!)   However, for non-native speakers they HAVE to learn WHY something is the way it is.  As I was reading through the second lesson, I was shocked at grammar point after grammar point stating that “this is the rule……except whenever it isn’t.”  There are ALWAYS exceptions to the case, and the lesson even pointed out that there’s no one easy way to remember the exceptions except through sheer brute memorization.    Oh, yay!  Who doesn’t enjoy that?!   

In addition, I suppose one could make a case and say that there are only three tenses: past, present, and future.  If one thinks about it simply, then yes, this is true.  However, there are actually twelve in all.  Think back to those dreaded middle school grammar classes.  Remember present simple vs. present perfect?  How about past continuous vs. future perfect?  You might not be able to give me an example of each of these right now, but I guarantee that you know and use them.  However, to explain each tense and when it’s used to a non-native speaker is an uphill challenge. 

I see these challenges everyday with my students.  They struggle with these concepts and so much more.  Imagine trying to be motivated enough to learn this language as a thirteen-year-old in no where Japan……as in a place where the only foreigner in sight is the one at the front of class.  I see students everyday who have the why-do-I-have-to-learn-this-I’m-never-going-to-use-it mentality.  I know there’s the same mentality at schools in the USA with regards to learning Spanish.  I’ve heard students, parents, even friends and co-workers complain “Why should I have to learn this language?  It’s not like I’m going to have to use it!”  ………….except they probably will.  We all know what’s going on with the Hispanic population growth.  Eventually, everyone in the USA will need to know Spanish.  I try to tell my kids the same thing.  The ONLY place in the world that speaks Japanese is Japan.  If they go ANYWHERE else in the world, even just on a week long vacation to the beach in Australia, they’re going to need to know English.  For a thirteen-year-old who’s never left Kumamoto and knows that he/she is going to take over the family farm and continue traditions that have been kept in the family for years, this is a little more difficult to grasp…..

*end rant*  Anyway, on to other news…..my garden.  Before I left for the States in July, my little flower bed of sunflowers were gorgeous!  I had fabulous bright yellow blooms, but whenever I came back, I was sorely disappointed.  My flowers looked dry, dead, and in the two weeks I had been gone the weeds decided to take over.  I asked Mommy what the best plan of action would be, and she said pulling everything and starting again.    Alas!  There went three months of planting, weeding, and watering…..  Instead of planting more flowers, I wanted something that would give back to me, so I planted the two cherry tomato plants that I was given earlier in the summer.  Within a few days of planting, I noticed three tiny green tomatoes growing on one of the plants!  Hurray!   I took care of the plants, making sure to water them if it didn’t rain for a couple of days and watched the green ovals grow and turn from green to orange to red (below, left).  Yesterday I decided that the tomatoes were that perfect shade of red and went to pick them: one for me, one for Ian, and one to keep for seeds.  The only downside was that bugs had gotten to one of our three.    Half of the tiny tomato was already eaten! (below, right)  Blarg!  Regardless, I enjoyed my one tiny tomato.  I’m hoping that we have a few more before winter comes.  Surely we will before it gets too cold!

         

Next year I’m saying TO HECK WITH FLOWERS! I BABIED those dang sunflowers for three dang months, and what did they do for me??? Bloomed beautifully for a week and then died. NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Next year it’s going to be vegetables for sure! I just hope that I’m able to reap the bounties of my labor before I leave next July……if not that can be a welcome present for my successor!    Welcome to Japan…..have some eggplants!