The Stain

Warning: a funny story follows.

Since our bed is the one piece of elevated furniture in the house, we tend to use it….A LOT.  While we normally eat dinner at our floor table, if we’re feeling especially lazy, we’ll eat in bed.  We drink tea in bed.  We watch movies in bed.  We Skype in bed.  We do a lot of things in bed.  Now on to the story….

I noticed a large brown stain on our bed sheet the other day as I was getting ready for work.  My mind immediately jumped to tea.  I couldn’t remember when it happened, but I was confident that I had accidently spilled tea in the bed.  I didn’t say anything to Ian and went on about my day.  When I came home from work that day, Ian said, “You want to hear a funny story?”  YES, PLEASE!!

He asked if I had noticed the stain on our bed sheet.  I said yes and confessed that at some point in time I had probably spilled tea.  He said, “Yeah, that’s was I thought, too, so I text you earlier to tell you about it.”  I was confused.  I knew that I hadn’t received any text messages from Ian that day and told him so.  “Exactly,” he said.

He said that he text me the following message:  “What’s that big brown stain in the bed?” ……..only he didn’t text it to my Japanese cell phone.  For whatever reason, he sent it to my American phone, a number that I no longer have and haven’t had for a year.  Apparently the new owner of my number is a jilted ex because he/she responded back with: “Leave me alone!  You think I don’t recognize a fake number?  That’s pretty low, even for you.”  Ian quickly realized his mistake and responded with: “I’m sorry….wrong number.”  The number replied with, “Whatever.  I know a fake number when I see one.”

This story is funny for two reasons:

1) Ian asked him/her about the big, brown stain in the bed.  Given the wrong context that comes off as level 1 creeper. 

2) Receiving a text from an international number COULD look like a fake number, so I feel like no matter how much Ian would have tried to wiggle his way out of this one, he/she wouldn’t have believed him. 

In other random news….I met up with Mollee and Shara Tuesday night at Joyfull (Yes, it’s spelled with two l’s in Japan.) to have writing time in which we work on our drafts for our upcoming workshop.  Usually we procrastinate or put off writing until the last minute, but Mollee and I discovered that if we go to a certain place and dedicate THAT time to writing, we actually get work done.  I had an enjoyable bike ride there.  However, once we got there, we did nothing but talk!  We had the best of intentions of working on our stories, but alas!  Nothing ever came of it as we were having too good of a time chatting.

Ian gave himself a summer haircut.  I’m not a big fan of it.  While his hair was getting…..”big,” (his word, not mine) I liked it a little fluffier.  He said that it was starting to get hot (OK, I understand) and the longer pieces in the back were starting to touch his neck and make his neck hot.  At that comment I immediately glared at him and said, “The FEW pieces of hair touching your neck are making it hot?  Seriously?”  Then he said, “Yeah, but your hair is really fine and thin.  Mine’s thick, and I can’t even feel a breeze blowing through it.”  Still…I protested him cutting his hair, so he waited until I left the house to cut it.  When I got home on Tuesday night, his hair was so short that I could see his scalp!  UGH!  I hate whenever he cuts it that short, but he loves it because it’s nice and cool.  When I went to take out my contacts, I couldn’t because the mop off his head was still in the sink.  “Ian Reed!” I shouted.  “Why does it look like there’s a furry animal in our sink?”  He laughed and said that if I wanted something to be done about it, I could clean it out myself.  Um…..no.  Disgusting!

And in the final random story of the day….tis the time for snakes!  UUUUGGGHHHH!  Since more and more farmers are planting and flooding their rice fields, the snakes are being driven out of their homes.  We ran over a big one on our way to Hitoyoshi on Monday.  Then on Tuesday I saw one slithering across the road on my way back from nursery school.  I saw another snake later that day while I was riding my bike.  It was a small 1.5 foot one, but it was enough to scare the living crap out of me!!  *shudder* I’m actually starting to get afraid of going too far into my back yard for fear of stepping on one or seeing one slither away, and for that reason I made Ian cut the grass.  There is honestly no animal that I despise more than a snake…. 

Anyway….that’s all for now!  I’m counting down the days (just one more!) until our beach day on Saturday!  Hurray!