Before you continue reading, click on the link and read this:
http://crossshapedstuff.com/2013/06/04/how-i-know-my-wife-married-the-wrong-person/
This is one of those articles that as soon as I read it, I felt the urge to write about it. (It’s not an actual article. It’s someone’s blog entry.) I saw it posted on a friend’s Facebook wall today, and after reading it immediately reposted. The author is a freaking genius. Call me a sap for enjoying this read, re-posting it, or even dedicating an entire blog post to it, but I felt like it was well worth it.
Ian and I will celebrate our 3rd anniversary next week. While our marriage is still in its infancy, we’ve already been through a lot together, and I could not imagine my life without him. He is probably the only person in my life that I’ve been the happiest with and been the angriest at. Our relationship is a myriad of things: joy, happiness, anxiety, fear, devotion, anger, dedication, funny, fun, laughable…. and I think that’s what it’s all about. That boy drives me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY sometimes, and I have never gotten as mad at someone as I have at him, but in the end, I love him. I love him unconditionally and will forever.
Our marriage isn’t perfect. Ian’s not perfect. I’m not perfect. We fight. It’s not all rainbows, butterflies, and unicorn farts! I honestly don’t trust couples who say that they don’t/haven’t ever fought. I’m calling BS on that right now! I’m not saying that you have to fight about EVERYTHING, but it’s normal to have arguments about things, and if you’re not, you’re probably internalizing your feelings, and eventually that bottle is going to burst.
Marriage is work. You have to be willing to work at it. If you’re not willing to compromise and support someone else as much as they support you, then marriage isn’t for you. We know each others flaws and accept them for the most part. Are there things that still (and probably forever will) get on our nerves about one another? YES. But that’s normal! No one is going to be the cookie cutter romantic comedy star! (Please notice that rom coms usually end at the guy-gets-girl stage, and we all assume that they live happily ever after…..but we don’t know that.) EVERY RELATIONSHIP HAS UPS AND DOWNS. It’s normal!
Ian doesn’t do the dishes. I am a klutz and break things that he has to fix. But in the end, I wouldn’t want someone who doesn’t present me with a challenge. If Ian agreed with everything I said and did everything that I asked (and vice versa), I feel like my life would be incredibly boring. I think it would be nice at first, but it would get REAL old REAL quick. You can marry someone who is similar to you and enjoys the same things you do, but you can’t marry the opposite sex version of you.
We all have always heard that marriage is 50/50. One person gives 50 and the other gives the other 50. Before our wedding, we went to a retreat, and this saying was explained SO WELL. The presenter asked who believed that marriage was 50/50. Pretty much everyone in the room raised his/her hand. Then the presenter told us we were all wrong. Marriage isn’t 50/50. Sometimes it’s 20/80. Sometimes it’s 40/60. Sometimes it’s 90/10. Sometimes you have to give more than you receive and be okay with that option. Like I said…it’s work, and you have to be willing to compromise.
So….now that I’ve scared the bejesus out of all the single people reading this blog, I ask myself the question “Is it worth it?” You bet your bottom dollar marriage is worth it! I’m lucky enough to have married my best friend. I know this, and Ian knows this. I think that’s really important in a marriage because if you can’t share every bit of juicy gossip, every emotion, explain the details of some boring work story to your husband/wife, etc then I don’t know what to say to you. I’m happier when Ian’s around, and if he’s gone to the city for a day or two for work, I miss him like crazy. He gets me. He understands me. He knows that I still think fart jokes are funny but encourages me to better myself by getting my teaching certification. I know that he enjoys a deep conversation about economic woes but can also make him laugh with my infamous tongue-in-the-nose trick.
Moral of the story: Marry your best friend. Find someone who gets you, who completes you, who you look forward to coming home to. Find someone who you see yourself traveling with and sharing memories. Find someone who you know will make a good parent (if you’re into the whole reproduction thing) and who you won’t mind growing old with. Find someone who you can laugh with, share midnight ice cream with, and discuss anything with.
RABU! RABU! RABU!
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