The top of my worry list

I always make fun of my mom because she is a constant worrier.  She worries about EVERYTHING…even things that shouldn’t be worried about.  If she starts worrying about something that doesn’t need to be worried about, I tell her to “scratch that off your worry list.”  Sometimes I think she worries about not having anything to worry about.    Anyway, I find myself stepping into my mother’s role right now.

Yes, living in a foreign country can produce several different things to worry about: language and cultural barriers, work relationships, becoming the stereotypical foreigner, etc, etc, but my number one worry right now is obtaining my Japanese driver’s license.  And for all of the naysayers out there, please know that getting a license in Japan is NOT as easy as it is in the States.  If only it were that simple!!!  I cannot tell you the number of hoops you have to jump through and how much paperwork needs to be shuffled around before you can get it.  If I don’t get it by August 1st, I can’t drive.  If I can’t drive, I’m stuck in my cow town of Yunomae pedaling my butt around permanently (which isn’t a lot of fun in the middle of winter).  Since we live the furthest from Hitoyoshi, we’d either see our friends less, or they’d have to come to us all of the time. 

There are two categories you can fall into: the blessed and unblessed.  The blessed foreigners in Japan come from countries like Canada, Australia, New Zealand, and most European countries in which their driving tests are on the national level.  Japan has treaties with each of these countries, and foreigners from there only have to fill out paperwork and pay money to get a Japanese driver’s license.  LUCKY!  People from the unblessed countries (ie, me) have to go through the WHOLE process of getting a license since ours are issued on the state (not national) level, and the nation of Japan CANNOT make treaties with individual states. 

The first part of the process is assembling paperwork.  I had to get proof that I lived in the USA for at least three months before leaving the country, an official translation of my driver’s license, letter from my town stating that I actually live there, and copies of my passport and alien registration card among other things before I could even MAKE the appointment.  My supervisor had to make the appointment for me, and our main means of communication is through email since I’m only at the BOE for ten minutes a week.  I have absolutely NO IDEA how many times I emailed her last week asking varying questions about the driver’s test.  I was a bit worried about getting an appointment in time because the license center only accepts two foreigners a day.  Why? you ask.  No idea, I say.  Since everyone whose international driving permit is running out are all in the same boat, appointments fill up quickly.  You have to wait two months until the international driving permit expires before you can get an appointment.  For me, that is June 1st.  Since I’m going home in July, I only have a month and a half to obtain my license.    Luckily my supervisor was able to get me an appointment on June 8th.

From what I’ve read, if you don’t speak Japanese, it is recommended to bring someone who can speak it and interpret for you.  A few of my friends are lucky enough to have their supervisors going with them, but Ian and I are not as lucky.  I’m worried about this and not knowing enough Japanese to understand the process.

The test is two parts: written and practical.  The written part is ten T/F questions, is in English, and I hear that you have to be brain dead to not pass it.  I’m not really worried about this.  It’s the practical part that scares me.  Unlike the American system in which points are counted off for mistakes, in Japan it’s pretty much a pass/fail.  Don’t screw up, or you fail.  It’s on a closed course, but to make matters worse the proctor is RIDICULOUSLY nit-picky.  It’s rare that someone passes on the first try, and I’ve actually heard that they’ll fail you the first time JUST for being foreign!    Other reasons that I know people have failed for:

-NOT hugging the curb

-NOT saying “left” or “right” when turning

-going too fast (apparently 25 km/15 mph is just too fast)

-going too slow (apparently 25 km/15 mph is just too slow)

-having your blinker on for too short/long (Three seconds is the EXACT amount of time it should be on.)

-not FULLY stopping at the railway crossing, rolling down the window, and listening for an imaginary train to come

-keeping your eyes on the road instead of the mirrors (I’M NOT JOKING.)

-NOT coming to a full stop while rounding a corner

-There is a very precise order of what to do when you get in the car.  First, circle the car, including getting down on the ground and looking to see if there’s anything under the car.  Once inside the car, adjust mirrors and seat (even if they don’t need to be).  Buckle seatbelt.  Search for anything that might be considered a distraction (ie, AC on high).  Ask for permission to start the car.  Pull off the emergency brake, put the car in gear, and go.  Anything out of this order could be grounds for failure.

I’m really not exaggerating these things.  The worst I’ve heard is from my friend, Brittany.  She took the test TEN times before finally passing.  I’ve also heard of other people who took it a few times and just gave up.  You might be a perfectly fine driver, but they’ll find SOMETHING that you didn’t do right.  Their test is not necessarily about driving skill but more about HOW you do it and if it follows the rule.  The Japanese aren’t very flexible.  THERE IS ONLY ONE RIGHT WAY TO DO EVERYTHING.  If you don’t do it that way, it is incorrect.    It’s a really backwards way of thinking, but that’s just how it is.  In addition, the proctor might count you off on something one time (ie, not hugging the curb), and the very next time count you off for hugging the curb TOO MUCH.  There is no winning at this game!!!!  After you fail, you have to sit there in the car and listen to the proctor tell you what you did wrong (even if everything was perfect).  He is trying to shame you a bit, and it is your duty to sit there and take it. 

In addition to the actual test, the ONLY place to take the driving test in Kumamoto prefecture is in Kumamoto City, a good three hour drive from my house.  I have to take vacation days to take the test.  I could use those vacation days to relax at home or sit on a beach somewhere, but instead I have to take a stupid test that proves that I am a capable driving in the eyes of the Japanese government.  In addition, every time you take the test, it costs money.  (Do you understand why they fail people so often? )  Instead of spending our money traveling or trying something new, we have to spend it on taking a stupid test that we took when we were sixteen.

On top of ALL of that frustration, Japan is full of HORRIBLE drivers.  That stereotype about Asian drivers is TRUE.  On a daily basis I nearly get rear ended, laugh at the people trying to park at the grocery, slam on the breaks to avoid the jerk who pulled out in front of me, curse at the old fogies driving 20kph (12mph) down the road, and so much more.  I also heard someone say that the proctor told him that no one should ACTUALLY drive on the road the way they do on the test because it’s very dangerous.    I’m confident that I’m a better driver than half of the people in this country, but it doesn’t matter.  I still have to take that damn test.  

So…..after this long rant, do you now understand why this is at the top of my worry list?!?!