Uggghhhh…..things are starting to get real. The thought that we are leaving Japan for good is starting to sink in. In less than a month I’ll have left Yunomae and begun my journey home. I cannot tell you how weird it is to think of this. The closer the time gets the more I wonder Why the heck didn’t I stay for a 3rd year? However, as is now I’m leaving Japan on a good note. I know that when I go home, I’ll be nostalgic for Japan, thinking only of the good times and somehow magically forgetting all of those times when I wanted to curl into a dark hole and die.
Friends and family have started to ask me, “Is it hard to say goodbye?” Surprisingly hard. I thought that it was hard to say goodbye when I left Paducah. However when I left home, I knew that eventually we’d come back, and I’d see everyone again. This is totally different. I now have friends living on four different continents and more countries than I can list here. I know that when I say goodbye to some of my friends here, it’s FOR REAL goodbye. We can make promises to meet again someday, somewhere, but for those friends who live in South Africa, Europe, or even the West Coast of the States, it’s pretty unlikely.
We were talking the other day about having a Kuma Re-goon-ion (ha, ha…do you like the pun?) here in five or ten years. While we have high hopes for such ideas, the truth is that it will probably never happen. I hate to be so pessimistic about this, but the reality is that us Kuma-goonies are spread out from Hawaii to Connecticut, Washington to Texas, and everywhere in between. Plus, in five years a lot can change. Some of us will probably have settled down, some may be living in a different country, some might have started families. The fact is that once we leave Kuma-gun, we won’t all be together again until…….? Gack! This thought makes me want to tear up now!
Plus, people are starting to tell us how much they are going to miss us. Margo told us on Saturday that she didn’t know what they were going to do next year because we are the glue that holds Kuma-gun together. Devin asked me if I knew how much she was going to cry because Momma and Poppa Bear are leaving Kuma-gun. When Margo asked Melissa if she was going to miss us, Melissa started tearing up. GACK! NOT MELISSA! She NEVER gets emotional!! UUUUGGGGHHHH. I’m dreading that day that we have to leave! Honestly, how can I NOT cry when I have friends who love us so much??
In addition to the emotional aspect, I’m starting to feel stressed out about what needs to happen in between now and July 31st. So. Many. Things. My job is a joke, so I’m never really stressed about things at school, and I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this stressed. I have a to-do list, but it seems like each time I cross off one item, another two or three magically appear on it. I have to sell this, fill out this form, write this goodbye speech, make these goodbye presents, etc, etc, etc. EEKKK!!
Plus, my nights offer no relief because they have turned into craft/cleaning time. Every night for the past week or so, I come home, go for a quick bike ride, make and eat dinner, and then begin working on….something. Last week was goodbye presents for my eikaiwa kiddies, cookie jars for Ian’s farewell party, and cleaning out closets. This week it’s a piñata for Thursday night’s eikaiwa class, prepping up more cookie jars for my co-workers, and making treat bags for my adult eikaiwa students. I literally sit on my couch and work on these things until I go to bed. I love arts and crafts as much as the next person, but where is the end?!?!
This past weekend was especially emotional….and surprisingly so. I had to attend the 2013 Kumamoto Leaver’s Conference in the city on Friday afternoon, and I really wasn’t expecting to get so emotional, but after three speeches from three different ALTs about leaving, my eyes were tearing up. I looked over at Krista, and she was doing the same thing. After reviewing what we needed to do before we leave and filling out a couple of surveys, the meeting was coming to a close.
On our schedule, the last order of business was from an “important person.” As Marie, the Prefectural Advisor, was introducing this person, all of us were wiggling in our seats because we knew, JUST KNEW that it was going to be the world famous Kumamoto mascot who everyone loves, Kumamon!! However, in walked the governor of Kumamoto, and our hearts sank. The governor actually gave a really funny and interesting speech, and at the end of it said that he had brought along a special friend. All of us started wiggling again in our seats again in hope that it was Kumamon. IT WAS!!! In walked the black bear with the creepy smile and blank stare that we have all grown so fond of. All forty-something of us rushed him in hopes of getting a picture with him.
The whole rest of the weekend was a lot of saying goodbye. After the conference was the dinner and party, at which I had to say goodbye to more people and talked about my plans for the future. After that I joined Ian at his farewell work party in which we had to say more goodbyes. It’s emotionally exhausting I tell you! We stayed the night at Mary and Yusuke’s, and on Saturday morning we met up with Sara, Mollee, and Shara who were at Starbucks. A couple of other ALTs randomly joined us while we were there, and suddenly we took over an entire corner and turned it into Foreigner Corner!! When we parted ways, we hugged and said goodbye to the people who don’t live in Kuma-gun and who we may never see again.
Saturday night was spent at the annual talent show, Kumamoto’s Got Talent. There were some incredible acts including (but not limited to) belly dancing, poetry reading, guitar playing, song/dance routines, and piano playing. After the show, we went out with several friends for drinks. While we stayed out later than I wanted to, I was so glad that we did so that we could spend that extra time with friends. It was difficult to pull ourselves away so that we could make the two hour trip back to Kuma-gun because saying goodbye is so, so, so hard!
Moral of the story, y’all: saying goodbye is tough. It sucks. I don’t want to do it. I’m excited to go home, but it hurts so much to leave.
No comments:
Post a Comment